Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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