i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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