you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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