if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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