she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
