My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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