I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
