That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
