perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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