i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
