She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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