I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i think i just lost a toe
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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