There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
