dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
