this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize