cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize