I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
