You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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