It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
