i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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