I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
