Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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