she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
