Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
