i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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