i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
