He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
