I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
