After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize