You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
