So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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