Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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