You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize