Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
