When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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