He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
