just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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