I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
wow bdsm is so cute
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize