u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
