I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Randomize
