His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
