as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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