moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
