We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
