its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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