What did we do last night that was yellow?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
