Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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