No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
