i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
