jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
