on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
