it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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