Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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