My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
