Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My dick has a subreddit
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
