she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize