I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
