omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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