She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
