Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
