Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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