Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
