I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
