Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
