Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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