y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
