I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
