He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
